|
|||||
|
My little lesbian how should I introduce her? She’s not very lesbinaistic, and quite likes ice cream . . . in a cone, -hanky panky with ice cream being too messy. No, she is very sweet, sometimes looks about 16, but in truth is old at 24. She believes in true love, and she believes she found hers. That she happened to lose her was a sad state of fate, but she does not think it means she can’t find someone else to share the rest of this life with. To her it’s all a game, sometimes hurtful, but mostly it’s just playing with Barbies, occasionally tanks, but not very often. She is a peculiar little creature, my little lesbina. She lives quite happily in my body, I see her so rarely. Much less frequently than No-Tarzan-Jane , poetry bird, or Socratic major minor. She has two great fears in the world. Heights and other lesbians. She is determined to bungy jumping one day. She is not too sure about the lesbian problem. She has tried finding some in the country she is currently living in. And she sees them, but they don’t she her. She remembers once, in a London club, she was ‘helping’ a new born woman come out of her small box. At the time she was in a relationship, and searching. I should mention the relationship turned out to have a biodegraded the wall, but only one one-side. Anyway at this club, she was quite half hearted -no one tried to pick her up. A couple of years later she realized that in fact the comment by the cute girl at the bar had in fact been a pick up line which she had said thanks for and walked away. It dumb founds her why this continues to happen. She thinks of people as wonderful, and she would love to snuggle into people while discussing interesting subjects. She feels like a cat with no heart, rubbing strangers legs. She wonders if she will ever be able to surrender her self to the needed state for such a friendship, because it also means the possibly of being hurt by the people. People tell her that she is cared for but lying with her arm bleeding she does not quite feel it. While in the sunshine she does not make out the need. Except when butterflies knock softly on the window, and she earns to turn and tell someone. |
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
Loss If you love someone
nothing else matters if something else matters you don’t love them A woman A woman, so pale and lovely in my sight, walks wonderfully strong in her own light. In the past she lay peacefully in bed, a small child in my arms. And as a mother, she moved her hands, holding my swollen stomach removing pain. But will she ever again be my lover, moving my mind and reclaiming my heart? Nymphomania/unsatisfied Raging against the pull towards anyone who looks, Most of who misunderstand my feelings towards them. It's not their faces I see, it's who they are and what they are, their roles as father's suns, or single bodyparts. It's a curse I'd wish on no one, a raging wind, full of sand, hurting as it slams against my skin. And to leave it unsatisfied is hell on earth, yet that is the role I chose to live. Amour Now that I know the truth I wonder who she is, -the one your heart loves. It’s said yous seem to like each other and yet try as I might I can not hate. But finding a French love poem lying on your desk the thought of yous in be lying as we once did, I miss you. yet you were never the person I knew. As the purpose of our relationship has run it’s course to the full I know that now I’m the fool, since I still love you I needed you for what you were unable to give and no mater how much I changed, you never touched my soul. But you filled my laughter with joy. And now when you say that I still make you laugh, The clowns performance as your fool rings hurtful true So no one will hear my laughter ring out till I have grieved, till all my anger and happiness, sorrow and pain has been caged incompany with my love for you. Letting you go Slowly I’m letting you go, everyone says I should. I don’t want to, I love you. If I didn’t I wouldn’t but I’ve lost the fight and you don’t want me sleeping in your bed anymore. It’s over It’s over but I don’t believe it, you have left me for another, in the year that I need you most warm sun will shine in your face while the sea rain will run down mine. One Day They say one day, I will feel no pain. They say one day, I will met another. They say one day, I will not love you. Yes that day will come, but only when grass covers my grave. Again again I miss you again I think of you again I today I cried I Say I say to you, set me free, send me away. Let me be. But I pray to you, please don't let me go Love me. Privet Rain First here and now there. The knowing of you, knowing me, Gives me the want to see, a world so wide and fair. A world full of amazing senses Sweet smells and tempting tastes - a landscape of possible faces, But bright colors aren't solid bases For the person I seek in goodness and foolishness in strength and weakness is held in people I've met. And only when I become the person I truly am will I truly live to come a person I can love. |
Home
God, you made her voice so lovely, deep, caring, warm, so reminiscent of home. -I remember how we used to talk of home. A place we felt in each others arms. Ghosts. Walking, with you at my side, I wonder as the women passing by. Your head drops, is it the slight acknowledge to a yesternight spent together or to just a midnight kiss? I’ll never dare ask, and it’s not my any more place. I’ll just wonder how stupid I was, and how many ghosts filled your bed. Smile There's a smile in the world leading me in the danceless ball Searching for the twin stars born of eyes held in a blue stone In the blue stone on a golden chain hung by a lover around a neck, A neck, white and sleek, -light snow on a winter's night And so I walk, yearning forever never to rest in my quest for strong and capable, nailbitten and raw, remembering her woman's hands Want! There is nothing in this world I want -but I'd like a good many things. Cute hair clips, sassy T-shirts, and of course sweet things to eat. But the verb to want, springs from need, and I need for nothing. Somewhere there is a silent whisper, "I need to be loved by you" But I can't destroy your life to forfill my need, and I refuse this imperfection. So in concession I write it at the top of the list, -I would like to be loved by her. |
||||
|
I remember my mouth tasting her breasts, as my hand traced her curves. She was my love, now she is my pain My strength and hope, an unknown accomplice to my every action the unseeing watcher of my unwilling movements Wonderful Today I want to tell you that your wonderful. I have stopped hateing you. More than anything I want you happy, I want you to unerstand what I id. I told you, I don’t love you -because I wanted you to understand pain I wanted you to know what it was like I told you, you were crap in bed, -because I could not explain and I wanted you to know what it was like I couldn’t tell you, I was unhappy, -because I became more insecure I wanted you to know what it was like I wanted you to know I needed closeness, the closeness we once had celebrated with sex I wanted you to know what it was like And the more sex we had, the more I felt our distance feeding my insecurity. Did you not wonder why I felt so bad When you fisted me? maybe it’s not that I’m making you understand maybe it’s just that I can’t understand what you did. yes I said that it was not working, but I wanted to hear your voice saying we would make it worse. yes I said that we needed a break, but I wanted to see your eyes saying we should hold out. I knew from past that you would leave it to me to say the worlds I hated saying but I told you long ago that I will always love you, Why did you not believe? Love is sweeter than freedom One day long ago I thought you were mine, or was that yesterday? Only I know it’s not today -’cause you’ve just told me your going away. When my mind breaks, I wonder at the silk scarf you left tired around my heart Did you put it there to hold my heart in peace while you cast free from me? Was it to hold me still till another of your kind came in search of sex? Or was it, the more likely, to keep my heart from completely breaking? As we broke apart I should have told you that I need you I couldn’t understand why you had turned and ran, into arms with no manes. And yet I forgave you as you couldn’t forgive me my lack of trespassers. Or was the excuse so plausible and genuine to be found only in youth. As my heart tears, my mind leers, Love is sweeter to the mouth, but Freedom seduces the heart. |
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
|||||
